Thursday, June 18, 2009

Texas and children

My visit with my cousin from Texas is now over. She went home last Sunday. Yeah I know I should've gotten around to blogging this stuff earlier........but I've been uber busy. My visit as it was was absolutely awesome. I already miss Steph. But her kids are getting sooooo big already. I kind of expected Dylan's growth but I didn't expect Lexi to be as big as she is. That was a real surprise. I still have until August to pick up Dylan and Lexi and spend some more time with them. That should be really nice for the boys. They love thier cousins very much and were very sad when they left. I already miss Steph. It would be really nice to just pack up and go to Texas for a couple of weeks with her. But I know I can't do that. Oh well.

On to other topics. Sunday night Roy ran away for 2 1/2 hours. That was the worst 2 1/2 hours of my life. I was scared silly and cried a lot. I guess that was my day for tears cuz first I cried over Steph leaving and then I cried over Roy. It all started over Roy and Bill getting into it again and Bill telling Roy to get out. WELL....Roy did. Bill figured that Roy would just walk around the block for a while and cool off.....but no he took off. At 1:10 a.m. the police picked him up on Lafayette and Michigan. I'm sure he was headed for Rachel's house, but he says he wasn't. I was sooooo thankful that the police found him safe and sound that I just couldn't yell at him. Of course Bill did enough of that for both of us anyway. I guess that's why I'm so leinient on the boys.......Bill is a total hard ass. While Roy was gone I told him that and told him that Roy leaving was all his fault....which it was. I was sooo mad at Bill I didn't even want to speak to him the whole time. I was sad, angry and frustrated. I hate to admit that my child ran away but at 14 with a dad that is always in your face it had to happen sooner or later. I doubt this will be the only time it happens too, but I pray that it never happens again. I don't know what I would do if one of my boys took off and something happened to them. I know I can't take much more of this kind of crap. Sunday was probably one of the hardest days ever for me. I hated every minute of that day. Too bad I can't go back in time and keep Steph here and stop Roy from ever leaving in the first place. I am still stessed out and messed up over the whole thing. I just hate it and I hate Bill for doing it. If Bill weren't such a hard ass none of this would have ever happened to begin with. It royally sucks but I feel trapped here. Bill loves me but he doesn't show it and he is down right mean with the boys at times. He claims he has plenty to prove that I would lose the boys if I left him and that is my ONLY fear. I would leave in a heartbeat if I knew my boys would be with me but he will fight me all the way for my boys. I'm just beginning to wonder if I may have a few things against him that would help my case.

No comments: